You know I’m really loving this “thing” we have. Spent the weekend together... but apart. We both ran our errands apart from each other. Janet usually runs with the girls. I am usually a “lone wolf”. Whenever I am away from her, she drifts through my thoughts. It helps me concentrate on the task so I can get back. If you know me, you know I don’t do well by myself. The evil one tried something new on me. “What if she stops loving you?” My mind ran the numbers before my heart pulled the plug! Found myself driving and rejecting this notion. There is not a person that I am more comfortable with. Janet knows and loves the "me" that even I run from. She tamed him with her love of God and the answer to a prayer. Throughout our life together when the world was unkind she pulled “him” back. Okay then “What if you stop loving her?” For real… I laughed and heard myself say “Janet I will never not love you and never is a long time.” I love you sweetheart! Glad the tomb is empty.
Recently had some late night\early morning prayer time when I couldn’t sleep. Gave the standard thank you LordJesus (in my house it’s one word) for my family, health, and well-being. I paused as I heard Janet breathing softly and stirring as I moved. Didn’t want to wake her. Continued my conversation. I felt the need to reiterate that I should be on the schedule to go home first, like “we discussed”. I revisited all my reasons for this request and was approaching the “in Jesus' name” moment when I thought I was experiencing heart palpitations and slight shortness of breath. I backed off the amen conclusion and asked God if heaven could wait while we talked about our “agreement”. I felt my heart flutter again. “My son what you felt was her heart beating in your chest. No matter what “I” decide, know that these two hearts will always beat as one. Rest peacefully my son.” Amen. Slept like a baby knowing that God has us... I love you sweetheart! I think we’re covered. Glad the tomb is empty.
Just my thoughts… Janet probably knows more about me than I would probably want to admit… out loud. I am okay with this. She knows things about me that I haven’t had the courage to tell her about. She has this uncanny way of somehow feeling the pain I try to hide from her. She finds a way to heal what I never exposed. In the past, I would try to “spare” her the burden of my issues. Then I remember God instructing me to let her love me. This meant trusting Him that we could grow together in and through these worldly issues that I subconsciously try to solve. I love the way Janet (metaphorically) snuggles up next to me and buckles up for the ride. We love road trips… I love you sweetheart (6-27-81) Glad the tomb is empty
