Battling Your Bully

You heard of the stories of youngsters succumbing to the agitations of bullies. They felt that living this life was so hopeless that they chose to commit suicide. The 24\7 information age and the explosion of social media arenas are being held as the driving factor for most of these unfortunate scenarios. Just my thoughts but bullies are not a new phenomenon. I am sure every single person I know, including myself, has experienced the abuse of a bully in some form or fashion. The bully is a person who is intimidating, mean or even cruel in their behavior towards someone they have singled out (presumably as weak). The behavior of a bully is their own internal turmoil directed outwardly towards others. Maybe misery loves company. Maybe the bully is trapped in this interpretation of themselves because they have no idea it does not always have to be this way.

I have had my share of bullies as a youngster and as a grown man. As a youngster my Pop explained that it was okay to be afraid of the bully. Fear was a healthy emotion that would cause my other senses and emotions to come alive. He taught me to concentrate on “now what” … after I recognized fear. Sometimes my “now what” plan was an escape route (run). Sometimes previous experience gave me the “now what” move to make because bullies just don’t disappear or get tired of being bullies. They need some “encouragement” which usually comes when they no longer derive pleasure from others pain. As a youngster I learned to take the joy out of it for them. Some days I came home winded but ecstatic on my successful choice of escape routes. Other days I may have come home satisfied that my “wit” had averted a sensitive and maybe embarrassing situation for me. Still there were days I had to just battle. To be honest I cannot remember being able to say I “got the best” of any foe. However I always won their respect and a workable truce. You will not win every fight, but never fail to let your opponent know they were in a fight. My Pop would ask me about the moment I made the decision to flee, fight, or debate. To my surprise I always had a sense of calm once I recognized that fear was present.

As an adult my bullies have taken on strange forms. They are “things” that I may have coveted or habits that took hold that were contrary to the man I wanted to be. At times I succumbed to the fear. I forgot to think of the “now what”. I could not run, did not know how to fight, and assumed this was my fate. I “sucked it up” and got in my manly muscle role of “doing what I gotta do.” What else was I to do?. I needed to recognize the fear and let my spirit be awakened. My earthly father was preparing me for the bully I would meet on the way to school. My heavenly father conquered death and left me the holy spirit to help me deal with that bully that goes by the simple name of life. Life bullies us while we are trying to live today. It bullies us when we are making plans for tomorrow. Life is the bully that makes you forget or maybe question the richness and fullness you have already been given by the one who drug a rugged cross to Calvary. As tough as I think it has been, or is going to be pales in comparison to the gifts I have already received and what He has in store for me. The bully has no power but what I give it. I have had a marriage bully, a my children must be crazy bully, broke down body bully, self-doubt bully, more month than money bully, and unemployment bully. Maybe you have had these bullies and more. One if not all of them may have sat on your stoop at one time or another.

You scared?

My Pop would say “now what”.

David said: Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil; My cup runs over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life; And I will dwell in the house of the LORD
Forever. Psalm 23:4-6

Paul said: Therefore I remind you to stir up the gift of God which is in you through the laying on of my hands.
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. 2 Tim 1:7

Paul also said: Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.
For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers,
nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing,
shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:37-39