Valentines Day

Re-Post 

I just read an amazing article written by Jill Scott for Essence magazine entitled “A Real Man”. She wrote about things that most women will not be able to grasp unless men begin to reveal them. Problem is men are not wired to “reveal” anything but our masculinity. She wrote. “Men get afraid. Some cry. Most are far more sensitive than we can imagine.” Without further elaboration this statement for most men will just slide down the locker room shower drain along with anything else that moves men away from their image of warriors in the “300” army holding the line for all our ancestral fathers that guarded the mailbox like “mister” in “The Color Purple”. It is extremely hard to fight hard wired circuitry. This is for those who desire to know or understand. If it matters not, stop now…. I might be wasting your time but let me at least try.

 Whether she is your wife, your girlfriend, your baby momma, your boo, or your friend with benefits, she will only see what you show her or what her “hormonal” detective skills discover. The latter usually reveals the most misunderstood, fragmented, and indistinguishable “facts” available. Your relationship is really just a series of situations strung together over time due to a need to be familiar with somebody who “may” not hurt you. Cut the thread of time or introduce a new you (or an unseen you) and the situations become not so good memories. You have heard the saying we were good together but not good for each other.

Most women think that a man’s power and fortitude is driven by his inner strength and pride. A man’s power is driven, yet stabilized by his ability to control, contain, and judiciously dispense his feelings for any given situation. Physical prowess is a by-product of self-control of raging emotions. Woman are allowed to let it flow. Men must hold the line. Every man has a treasure chest of emotions buried so deep inside his heart he dare not let them be discovered by mere mortals.

 Until you let her see this part of your heart, this part that you rarely take the time to view, she may never truly be your help mate. Because she may never really know you. Your boo needs to know your hurts. Your baby momma needs to know you fear not being able to provide, whether it be money or majesty. Your girlfriend needs to see and know the anxiety that envelops you with thoughts of a true committed relationship. All these emotions live in the chest.

Ladies it may be hard to understand given what you have seen and been taught over time by various sources. Be patient if you can. Be understanding because you must. But most of all recognize there is an awesome power to love and to protect and to provide within your grasp. Make it safe so it can be revealed.

During this Hallmark season let her see you. Her heart will smile…

Happy Valentine’s day….