Be A Woman First!

When we first got married, the struggle was real. We had a new life together. We became new people to each other. We did not understand our newly discovered roles as husband and wife. That mom and dad thing had us rolling on instincts to love and protect the “cubs”. There were bare cupboards and dim lights, sometimes long walks to the bus stop when the “grey ghost” was on blocks. We marched our way through the years determined to meet needs. You made sacrifices for the cause and made choices that changed and sometimes corrected our course. You did these things without provocation from me. You are consistent in your desire to see “Peeler People” succeed. I know there is the house, job, obligations, and all things consistently vying for space in your world. In the midst of all this, I only have one need and desire and that is for you to be a woman first! Do not deny or suppress the grace and beauty personified in ways that make me blush from the inside out. I Love You,

Sweetheart! I could not find a card to speak for me. I hope this works. Happy Valentine’s Day!

“Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot sweep it away. If one were to give all the wealth of one’s house for love, it would be utterly scorned.” Song of Solomon 8:7

Just Being

We caught ourselves alone, just sitting and talking.  Not really about anything specific or world changing.  Just sitting and being.  It is the one thing I love the most about you and me. We can just be. At that moment I felt your heart beating in my chest.  I saw your hopes and dreams from years gone past.  I felt the pain of the things we never discussed.  My heart wanted to move to your chest to let you know I could make those dreams come true and dispel any pain that may try to rise. Your heart held mine close and would not let it leave.  It whispered, “baby we could just be and that is more than enough for me.”  I now catch myself alone just sitting and thinking about how much I love the women whose heart holds mine and won't let go.  She makes it so easy to be… me.  I Love You Sweetheart! Glad The Tomb Is Empty.

Response to my daughters... Though neither are married, I want them both (and any other women) to at least consider if his heart has the potential to hold their heart close against all odds. Their mind and the world may discourage that union. Can they reach out with their heart? I want my young woman to see this in me every day of my life and theirs. It is possible to love a woman beyond the bounds of this world. If you have the courage. If you hold true to this he will find you. Because his heart is looking for the same thing.

Caught Up

Brother got caught up.  My baby wasn’t feeling good but she needed\wanted to go to the store to pick up a few things for work.  I had a few things I needed to cook dinner so I said okay.  Just to set this up, my baby don’t walk out the “house looking any kinda way”, sick or not.  She was sick but cute. So, I am on one side of the store and she is on the other side.  As I made my way over to her, I caught a glimpse of her walking past the aisle I was walking down.  The hair on the back of my neck stood tall and my radar zeroed in on her destination.  I sped up my cart and watched her turn down another aisle.  I picked up her light flowing sweater as it wrapped gently around the end cap of some useless merchandise.  The Walmart hunt was officially on.  I pushed the cart hard to get out ahead of her next move.  I watched her turn the corner and stride whimsically down the aisle towards me.  She did not see me at first.  My eyes sent an “us” signal that she picked up.  It was amazing to watch her body language shift into Lance mode.  I froze as I watched her walk towards me with every stride spelling my name over and over.  I almost forgot to stop and pay on the way out.  She just “do” something to me.  I can’t really explain it but I know it when I feel it.  I love you sweetheart.  

Heels That Click

From time to time (almost every day) Janet and I talk on the phone while we are on our way to work.  My Pop suggested in 1975, “Didn’t you just see her a minute ago? What could you be talking about?” To be honest I didn’t know then and I don’t know now.  It’s just a fact I love hearing the sound of her voice, especially when she is speaking to me. This morning as usual we talked but just a little later in the drive.  She had already made it to work and I knew we would be hanging up shortly.  Then my ears heard a clicking sound. It was the sound of her heels striking the ceramic floor as she walked towards her office. With each click of her heels and the sound of her voice, the picture of her beauty and gracefulness became clearer in my mind.  Just like back in 1975, I didn’t want to hang up!  I was enjoying the view.  I love you sweetheart.  Can’t wait to get home.  Glad the tomb is empty.    

In My Sleep

I dreamed last night.  In it, we were both being disagreeable with one another.  I could not make out the reason for the shouting or the sharp tones.  I screamed, “I ain’t leaving even if the walls fall down around us.” Walking towards the door you laughed, “I will be sure to send someone over to dig you out.” I heard the back door close and the garage door rise.  I awoke or maybe came to but was unable to open my eyes. There was a mild sense of panic.  I heard the ceiling fan hum but did not feel the breeze that it was capable of creating.  I heard the sounds of the fish tank bubbles coming from the den.  I heard the aging hard drive of my computer spinning at my desk.  What I couldn’t hear was the soft sound of your breathing as you slept next to me.  I couldn’t feel the warmth of your body on the sheets next to me.  My subconscious must have alerted me of a missing part of my conscious world and shook me from my slumber.  You were not next to me. Your spot in our bed was cold.  I sat up, almost jumped up.  I was in panic mode waiting to hear the garage door close as you drove off.  Instead, I heard the toilet flush!  By the time I laid back feeling a sense of relief, you curled back up into my arms unaware of how the rush of water had averted my subliminal meltdown.  I squeezed you tightly as we gently slipped off to sleep. Good Morning Sweetheart.  My love for you is of more than this world can hold.  Glad the tomb is empty.

He Solved Our Mystery

It is an inconceivable idea that one mind can possibly know another. It is a mystery.  In spite of this, I revel in how we have been able to become “just us.” I no longer try to anticipate, to counter, to even attempt to advance on your “mystical mind.”   My heart has mastered what my head over analyzes.  I find peace and comfort in knowing there is no doubt that our souls are reconciled in heaven.  I live off the love that God uses to transform you and me into us. I let your heart consume my willing spirit realizing this is only possible because God has taught me how to trust what my ears and eyes don’t recognize. My heart wraps it all up for my soul to present to Him.  I pray He approves.  I love you sweetheart.   

Now We Understand

I didn’t always understand how you loved me or how you made that love work. You don’t write words that explain that beautiful complex mind or whisper sweet somethings in my ear as I drift off into a space in my mind where your love gives me wings to soar. You don’t always stroke my over accentuated male ego or take time to wipe away my hidden tears when I am wounded. What is apparent is you know me without revealing the source of that knowledge. You give meaning to the expression “I feel you”. You get me even when I am not trying to give. It kills me when I get you running on one rail while I’m trying to figure out feelings I don’t recognize in me. I get lifted as I hold your hands and hear you thank God for things I didn’t realize I’d done. You boldly employ God to bless my day and keep me safe in the evil one’s world. Your words pass through my heart on their way to Him and He replaces all my questions with a full-blown view of His love in our life. Now I understand. I love you sweetheart. Glad the tomb is empty.