The Runway

I was sitting in the halls of Harlan High tying my shoes getting ready for practice. I heard the rush of folks coming around the corner as class was letting out. My first inclination was to press up against the locker to avoid the crowd. Then I looked up and saw her with a crew of girls coming my way. It is kind a corny but everyone else blurred out of the scene. Her long strides were amplified by the easy sway of the books she held in her arms. Our eyes connected and we had a I'll see you after practice conversation in that moment. Her smile froze my thoughts to everything that did not include her. I had already let the cat out of the bag and told her I loved her. There was no going back now. In my minds eyes I saw her walking down the runway (hallway) with the grace of a model. To this day I still see that model with the grace that makes my thoughts lock in on our love. We still in this with God's covenant as our guide and I'm still loving you sweetheart… Glad the tomb is empty.

Valentines Day

Re-Post 

I just read an amazing article written by Jill Scott for Essence magazine entitled “A Real Man”. She wrote about things that most women will not be able to grasp unless men begin to reveal them. Problem is men are not wired to “reveal” anything but our masculinity. She wrote. “Men get afraid. Some cry. Most are far more sensitive than we can imagine.” Without further elaboration this statement for most men will just slide down the locker room shower drain along with anything else that moves men away from their image of warriors in the “300” army holding the line for all our ancestral fathers that guarded the mailbox like “mister” in “The Color Purple”. It is extremely hard to fight hard wired circuitry. This is for those who desire to know or understand. If it matters not, stop now…. I might be wasting your time but let me at least try.

 Whether she is your wife, your girlfriend, your baby momma, your boo, or your friend with benefits, she will only see what you show her or what her “hormonal” detective skills discover. The latter usually reveals the most misunderstood, fragmented, and indistinguishable “facts” available. Your relationship is really just a series of situations strung together over time due to a need to be familiar with somebody who “may” not hurt you. Cut the thread of time or introduce a new you (or an unseen you) and the situations become not so good memories. You have heard the saying we were good together but not good for each other.

Most women think that a man’s power and fortitude is driven by his inner strength and pride. A man’s power is driven, yet stabilized by his ability to control, contain, and judiciously dispense his feelings for any given situation. Physical prowess is a by-product of self-control of raging emotions. Woman are allowed to let it flow. Men must hold the line. Every man has a treasure chest of emotions buried so deep inside his heart he dare not let them be discovered by mere mortals.

 Until you let her see this part of your heart, this part that you rarely take the time to view, she may never truly be your help mate. Because she may never really know you. Your boo needs to know your hurts. Your baby momma needs to know you fear not being able to provide, whether it be money or majesty. Your girlfriend needs to see and know the anxiety that envelops you with thoughts of a true committed relationship. All these emotions live in the chest.

Ladies it may be hard to understand given what you have seen and been taught over time by various sources. Be patient if you can. Be understanding because you must. But most of all recognize there is an awesome power to love and to protect and to provide within your grasp. Make it safe so it can be revealed.

During this Hallmark season let her see you. Her heart will smile…

Happy Valentine’s day….

My Pop

February is Black History month and the month of love. In keeping with the twist, I introduced last year I want to continue giving some brotherly love to some men who influenced my journey. I want to begin with my father, my “Pop”, Walter Peeler. We only shared a few years together but in retrospect I believe I got the best he could give before God called him home. I was nineteen and away at college when he passed. The last three years were our best. I began to listen to him and not judge him. Up until I was sixteen I seemed to always be at odds with this man who talked in metaphoric circles. I began to sit still and take notice to the life he wished he had and the life he wished for me. I finally understood that it was not rants and waves that I was being engulfed with but his heart. A heart filled with the hope of me being a good man, a better man. He frustrated me at times because he never would give me a straight answer. It was usually a question for a question. He required me to think before answering his question. He passed away suddenly but it was as if he squeezed all of him into all of me in those three years. I wonder if he knew? I was his Timothy and he was my Paul. Proverbs 27:17 says iron sharpens iron. Is anything too hard for God?

Falling In Love

Falling in love is a phrase used to describe the rush of emotions that crash on us when we “think” we have found the one. Janet knew soon after we had some of them “you hang up first calls” that I "liked her." When she casually said I love you, I told her I didn’t know much about love but “I dig the hell out of you”. I think that was enough to keep her falling. Me. I still had questions. Eventually I yielded to God's plan. I took the plunge and we fell in Love, landed in Love, and now are Standing Up in Love! We decided to stand up in our love and enjoy the inevitable truth of God's promises. We would be together forever no matter what came (or went). This did not happen overnight. We had to work at this discovery. When He spoke to me and said “Let Her Love You” our whole being became that one soul that you hear about and that cannot really be explained but you know it when you see it and feel it. In response to God's gift we have lifted our marriage high into the tree of life that is rooted in God’s promises. Come what may, our marriage is out of reach and guarded by His covenant. The evil one has been informed. Roll up in here if you want to!!! If God is for us than who can be against us... Nothing will be able to separate us or our love of God. I Love you sweetheart. Glad the tomb is empty.

Romantic Vibe

What do you do when your romantic vibe has been slowed to a drip instead of the usual blast from the fire hydrant?  We got a little caught up in the rush of the world and just missed each other’s “I love you” motives.  I was wrong. She was wrong. We reacted to each other’s needs wrong.  The testosterone began to build.  I tamed it with the major male weapon.  I shut it down. Then I shut down.  Estrogen pushed her into her feelings. Then she pushed.  The vibe was stale and still and the air was thick.  The difference in now and then is that we recognized what we needed to do to let the vibe flow through. We have both grown up.  I am not too proud to let my feelings be revealed and she has refused to sulk in hers.  We talked about how we each could have done better for each other.  We had a “safe conversation” that allowed us to see the wall the devil had designed and was attempting to building between us.  If you can’t hear my words please listen for the rhythm of my heart.  Your love is the spark that regulates each beat.  I love you sweetheart. Glad the Tomb is Empty.

Love this season

Love this season.  Reminds me of how blessed I am. I thank you Lord for this life you have afforded me.  “Lord knows” there were times that I did not honor or recognize you as “Lord” of my life.  I borrowed your strength and discarded your guidance. You let me live my life with a “toothless” pit bull named mercy forever hoping that you kept its teeth in a jar as I strayed away from you.  You poured your love into me while I was still in sin.  When I rejected your love, I could hear the nails in the distant being rammed into your hands and feet.  Yet and still… I proceeded to stray spiritually farther and farther away from you.  God, you matched my speed and evasive maneuvers and stayed constant in my life.  I love this season because it reminds me to be thankful for what you have given me, a fantastic life and grace in the form of my wife Janet. “Lord knows” I do not deserve the woman that rode with me in good times and some awful times. I have two daughters that make me laugh, cry, and pray without ceasing.  My prayer is that they got the best of me and learned to avoid the stumbles I try to make known.  I am thankful that if for only a moment in time I am able to guide the heart and mind of an incredible granddaughter you have allowed to inhabit my life.  Lord God I am so thankful for this life and the blessing you have allowed to trickled down. For all of these things I am thankful.    Glad the tomb is empty.

While I'm Away

Spent the weekend with my familiars without you my beloved.  My heart heard your love sing out my name when my ears couldn’t hear your voice. I closed my eyes and saw you standing there looking so amazing. I dreamed of your gentle touch and warm smile as I lay in an unfamiliar bed 1000 mile away and the rivers of your love flowed over me. I have long since stopped trying to hide the fact that you just do something to me.  What I haven’t revealed is that you do so much for me.  God made a path for you to see me when I was struggling to stay on His well paved road designed just for us. I marvel at how you bring clarity to our life when I struggle to make peace with myself.  These words are just one of the many ways I try to tell God how thankful I am that He thought enough of me to give me you.  My prayer is that I never grow faint in my pursuit to get this right and keep it right… in His eyes.  I won’t get another shot at a love like this.  Glad the tomb is empty.