I Don't Do Well When I'm Alone

I'm sorry I don’t do well when I am alone. When you are not here I tend to get lost in indecision.  I over analyze everything.  Scrambled eggs or over easy paralyzed me at the refrigerator.  By the time I got to the stove the kitchen was 10 degrees cooler.  I scrabbled because I knew that is what you would want.   When you were away I couldn’t write a word even though my thoughts were full of you. Got to the airport an hour early. I stood there waiting for you feeling anxious. I couldn’t wait to hold you and whisper in your ear something poetic and profound that would make you just melt into my arms.  I melted into yours before I could get the words out.  The sight of you coming towards me put life in perspective.  You are the life I can’t live without. My life begins and ends with you.  God knows and I am believing in His plan for me for you for us.  I pray without ceasing that my words can keep our hearts open to each other when the world would prefer they stay closed. I hope you don’t mind how I love.  Glad the tomb is empty…

God Said So

I was doing my prep work for the dinner, dicing greens peppers and onions. You swept (more like floated) through the kitchen without saying a word. I felt you before I saw you. Just a glimpse of you out of the corner of my eye put my fingers in danger. Your presence in my world is overwhelming at times. Nevertheless, there is no questioning of my sanity for what has to be impractical thoughts and feelings of you that creep into my day. I still “pine” for you when you are ...not near. Is it because your love flows through my veins and strengthens every beat of my heart? I love you Janet. God said so, the covenant says so. So, I make it so.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride. So, I love you because I know no other way than this, where I does not exist, nor you. So close that your hand on my chest is my hand, so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

Psalm 63:3 Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you.

Your Weekend Away

My baby spent the weekend away from me. Kept busy trying not to think about you not being here. Wrote a few things that was on my mind. Just my thoughts... 


While we are apart, let my love tuck you in with sweet dreams. Let each silver star that lights the night sky remind you of every happiness we have known and the joy that is yet to be. Tonight, know that I am thinking of you, missing the rise and fall of your easy sleep, and looking forward to the time I can simply reach out in the dark to hold you close. Tomorrow morning when you wake up, know that I will be picturing what it is like to start the day with you, I will smile, imagining your sleepy eyes and that slept on hair that I find so adorable. Tomorrow have a good day, keep me close at heart… so much in love with you... Glad the tomb is empty

The Summer of 1977

The Summer of 1977 was the Greatest Summer of My Life… I will admit it. Marriage and life’s minutia and menagerie of inconsequential issues and circumstances can sometimes confuse and frustrate me. I learned through unnecessary trial and error that it doesn’t have to be so. My marriage is my most important ministry. Earlier in our marriage we didn’t have mentors or any one that was willing to walk alongside of us. We didn’t know what we needed. The tight rope of a relationship we held onto began to pop, one strand at a time. A few of my friends have heard me say this but God suggested to, asked me, and finally told me to just let her love you. She will love you not judge you. She can help you see how much you are worth to me. She will care for you when you can’t care for yourself. She will see the light in your eyes when no one else can. She will sit on the edge of life with you until you find your way back to heaven in my arms. She won’t run from the life I have for you both. She will let you be the man that I intend you to be because she is the woman I created just for you. There was only one requirement. I had to die to self and live to learn what God had planted deep in her heart. Only then would He give me access to her soul. Just let her love you and your lives will take flight. I love you Janet. Glad the tomb is empty.

I'm Married. Can I be Honest?

I stalk my wife. When we are out and she may be on the other side of the room talking to her friends, I let my eyes search for her eyes so that they can tell her how good she looks from way over here. One of the greatest and most enjoyable parts of our marriage is knowing that when I turn the key to our house that there is a beautiful woman in one of these rooms that I know is my gift from God and that He ordained our love and relationship. I always want her to hear, see, read, feel, and know that my whole self is into her. I want her to walk in front of the television, and maybe pause for a moment. She has my attention even when she does not realize it. I have learned how to let her see the love in my eyes or in what I do not say or unable to put into words. My touch is not always sexual but it always feels like love. We have been married for a long time but I am still pursuing and clinging to the moment when she blew my mind and God rearranged the future I wrote for myself? Don’t ever stop pursuing her\him. Glad the tomb is empty.

Pour Your Heart Out

You pour your heart out to me and I have promised God to never spill a drop. Every day I want to love you more. Every day I want to see you in a different way. I want to experience you in all the ways God intended. How do I love you more each day while doing all I can to keep it real, keep it special, keep it fresh and new? There are days that I feel like I fall short. On those days my heart begins to cry for yours to come closer. In the midst of those tears my soul reaches and yearns to be nearer to yours. I know God is there and He will reassure me and remind me just how amazing you are and how you are wonderfully made. I think He is really proud of His work in you. I pray that these words flow from me to you and into the lap of my gift giver who said we would be so. I know I can never love you like He loves you but I hope He is pleased with my effort. 


 I Love You Janet

Is Your Tomb Occupied?

On Easter Sunday morning Christians love to hear the story of a risen savior. This part of the scripture enforces our faith and belief that my God can do all things and that if I believe He will give me the strength to do all things.   Three woman went to the tomb on Sunday morning with spices they had prepared.  Did they expect that the guards would break the seal and allow them to anoint the body of the Jesus?  Were they there to anoint a dead Jesus who died with the sins of all humanity? Were they making the trip to see the empty tomb.  Maybe they understood “…I will raise it again in three days”.   I am curious to know the purpose of their trip.

These woman went to the tomb on Sunday morning with spices they had prepared. I dreamed that I was on that road with these women.  When we arrived, the stone was in place. The guards were there but suddenly the woman were no longer with me.  The guards stood before a tomb with my name on it.  They offered to help me move the stone, which we did without much effort.  I am not sure what I expected to see but what was very clear to me was that my tomb was not empty.

Inside I “greeted” the worst of me.  I spoke to my unforgiving heart.  I discussed life with my discouraging tongue. I high fived my mean streak.  I put some cool shades on my roving eyes.  I saw my gifts still wrapped in the packaging they came in. They all moved closer but I knew I could not stay long.  I woke up and tried to explain to Janet what I saw in my dream.  The question that followed me that day is what if my tomb was occupied? In my dream, I saw what lived there.  Could the guards or societies seal contain them?

When Jesus died, the Father could not look upon Him because He had taken on the sin of humanity.  He took those sins to hell and “handled up” on Lucifer and death.  In my dream, I think Jesus left my sins in the tomb.  There are times that I think and behave as if I visit the tomb regularly.  If you have met one of those guys please accept my apology.  I chose to serve a risen savior and not a dead Jesus. Jesus took my sins with Him and deposited them in the sea of forgiveness.  This is why every day I can say I am doing “absolutely wonderful” because I know that my tomb is empty.