My Joseph Day

December 20th has been my self-proclaimed “Joseph” day. 50 years ago, I thought my tranquil childhood had just been shoved down a hole. The adults in my life made decisions that put my spirit in the dark and left it there. Having never know darkness I was not sure if this was the natural order of things, so I adapted never knowing that light was waiting for me. I carried a lot of weight for many years on this day. Then a brother invited me to a 6:00 am men’s meeting called the “Men’s Fraternity” at Concord Church. I was skeptical at first, brothers getting up to meet at 6:00 am every Tuesday morning, naw. The place was packed! I met some brothers that wanted to heal, they wanted to be better men, fathers, and husbands. I also wanted to be a better son. It took a “minute” but I committed because the brothers were committed and I had never seen or felt anything like this. Part of the “graduation” process was to complete a Manhood Plan. I poured it all out on paper and submitted it. God spoke to me in that plan. Now this day reminds me that He had a plan for my life that I could not see in the dark. “He meant it for good.” My prayer is that I am a better man today than yesterday. A better man for Him that gave me peace on this day. A better man for my family that gave me love through it all, and a better man for the next brother that may feel like he is in a hole. God's got a plan for your life. Glad The Tomb Is Empty

The Path to Her Heart

The path to her heart was filled with my own insecurities.  The road blocks were created by my self-loathing. I weathered the storm of previous hurtful encounters well before I met Janet.  I remember the disappointment, the pain, the embarrassment, and humiliation that comes with rejection in a private forum that becomes public. In hindsight I don’t think I would want the pain of it all to be lessened.  It was that pain that pushed me to Him who explained that I was on the right road. I was on the road to Him. In Him, I found her. I found us. I love you sweetheart! Glad the tomb is empty.

“A woman's heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him just to find her.”― Maya Angelou

Teaching Me to Love

Thank you, Lord, for teaching me how to love her. You know there are times when I am unable to comprehend where you were taking us. I resist and attempt to reconfigure the script to fit my comfort zone. There were times when I forgot that the struggle is not with flesh and blood but principalities that seek to alter the composition of the foundation of my family, my world (this world). Oh, how I love this woman. Continue to teach me. Continue to make me stronger. Continue to have your way with me making me more than I think I can be. Continue to teach me. Continue to show me new ways, different ways to love her. Show me how let her see you in my love. Help me to love her more each day. Help me to love more, and more, and more. I love you sweetheart. Glad the tomb is empty.

South African Experience

A South African Mission Experience. While our team was out evangelizing, we knocked on a door and this beautiful young lady answered. “My mother is not home and she told me not to go out or let anyone in. But can you pray for me?” We stopped in the hall, on the stairs, and at the door to pray for this young lady who knew the Lord and the power of prayer. I was deeply moved by this encounter and felt woefully inadequate in my faith and conviction. This was one of many life-changing encounters on our trip that I still am “grappling with”. I feel like I found a part of me there but I also left a part of me there as well. Pastor Fynn told us we were “born in the United States, but we were created in Africa.” 

Glad the tomb is empty.

I Promise

I can’t promise that I won’t make mistakes. I can’t promise you that rainbows wilI always roll across our skies. I can’t promise you that dark clouds will never hover over our lives. I can’t promise you that our life will be perfect or void of troubles. I can promise you my everlasting love and devotion. I can promise you my unconditional love. I can promise you I will be by your side through any and all trials and tribulations you\we face. I promise to encourage you and to protect you. I promise to pray with you, to dream with you, to grow with you, and stand tall in our love because I know it is rooted in the God that ordained this union. I promise to always strive to keep this smile not only on your face but in your heart and soul. I promise. I love you sweetheart and pray that He is pleased with my efforts. Glad the tomb is empty.

My Mistake

A friend asked me what was the worst mistake I ever made with a woman... it was misjudging my wife's love for me and not trusting her with my heart because my love and emotions tell others who I really am. Can I trust her or anybody with ME? I guarded me so much I failed to see her offer me HER... God told me to let her love me and He would fill in the blanks that created my doubts. I love you sweetheart in the clouds on Table Top Mountain in Capetown South Africa. 
Glad the tomb is empty.

Not Random At All

More then a few times my mind tried to convince me that you were just some “random” girl in the crowd.  What would I have to say that you would possibly be interested in?  Each time I saw you my heart leaped in my chest and yearned to speak what each bone in my body was feeling.  I was about to bust and my spirit was becoming fragile each time I “attempted” to speak what was truly buried in me. The pathway from my heart to my lips was blocked by my insecurities that ultimately caged my feelings for you.  So glad that is not how the story ended. I can’t remember not loving you… Glad The Tomb is Empty

When You Say My name

Each time you say my name it feels like the first time I’ve heard it. It seems silly after all these years but it still feels special to know that this one-syllable spoken by you can magnify my joy. If the truth be told, “you had me the first time you called my name.” The flame I have for you still burns hot. Fire cast no shadow! It can’t be replicated. I guess that is why I can’t stop writing about you. I love you sweetheart. Glad the tomb is empty.

That Look

There is a look you give me that heals my pain. Your eyes pull me in. It is that silent conversation we have that is filled with peace and revelations of love that don’t have audible words but still speak love. I hear your voice and feel the love without my ears being invited. These heart to heart soul to soul conversations make me believe that God is in this thing we have together. Hearing without sound. Feeling without touch. Seeing without sight. Knowing that with Him all things are possible removes my need to wonder why or how we are “us”.
 I love you sweetheart. Glad the tomb is empty

Close To You

The first time I reached for your hand you weren’t quite ready.  You weren’t ready to concede to my advances let alone my touch.  I didn’t understand.  Just another clumsy attempt on my part was all I could derive from my latest advance. I was befuddled but determined.  Your grace and mesmerizing smile trapped my mind in an undeniable quest to get closer to you. When I think about that moment, I wanted you to see me but I didn’t know what “me” looked like.  I let down my guard down and you met me where I was.  Now when I hold your hand, I feel your heartbeat for me.  I see your love. I hear your body call me to come nearer.  I know that our hands are an extension of our souls coming together preparing for infinity. Because of this, I will keep reaching and wanting. I love you sweetheart. Glad the tomb is empty

Have I Told You Lately

We do our best to begin each day by thanking God for creating and guiding this union. We talk about how blessed we are and how we should never take for granted this moment in time. In the grand scheme of things, we are only a mist, a vapor, a puff of air in time. Having said that how can I not shout from the highest mountain how much I love her? How can I not be shameless in my total gratitude to God for gifting me a wife and a life that I surely do not deserve? I love you, sweetheart!
            Glad the tomb is empty.

Even If My Hearts Stops

Long after my heart stops beating my soul will still be telling the world how much I love you. The joy I feel whenever you enter my consciousness is remarkable simply because you are a constant in all things Lance. I am imploring God to never grow weary of my gratitude for creating you just for me. 38 years of marriage (plus 6) is only a number that tracks time for man but God has given us a shot at infinity. I can never tell you enough how much I love you. But even if my words do run short my heart and soul have you covered. Happy Anniversary sweetheart (June 27, 1981). Glad the tomb is empty.

Built For You

I thought I could be in the NFL until I got blindsided and literally saw stars for a week. I thought I might want to be an accountant until I failed calculus (twice). I enjoyed running track and the exhilaration of the wind but not the pain as I pushed to the finish line. Some of these “adventures” required more than I was physically able to give or maybe I was not mentally ready to conquer. Janet, through all of that and more you have been constant. What I now know is that I am physically, mentally, and spiritually built to love you. When the world tries to cloud my view, God clears my vision to allow me to see Him in you. When I just can’t figure out where you are going, He tutors me through the test. The draft I feel when my frustration flares is the breeze from His wings of love. I love you like I do because I was built for it. I was built for you. “No good thing will He withhold from them that walk uprightly.” 
 I love you sweetheart. Glad the tomb is empty.

Better Than a Dream

The water was crystal clear, cool but not cold. The white sand felt good on our toes. We walked the length of the beach watching the Caribbean sunset out to sea. It was moments like this that we dreamed about when our love was young. You moved closer to me and our hearts spoke words we did not need to say but needed to hear. It felt so good just to be near you. "I couldn’t wait to wake up." I realized that our reality was even better than this dream. Happy Birthday Sweetheart. I love you and cherish the day God released you from heaven... just for me. Glad the tomb is empty…

We Don't Get Out Much

We don't get out much... But when we do... You see we don't need a break from each other or need our "own space". I don't know if what we have is an "ordinary love" or not. What we do know is it has to be more than just the words of love we express or the words I write. We want it to be who we are. Love you sweetheart! Glad the tomb is empty.

Sweetheart Month

March is our "sweetheart" month. I appreciate the season we are in. I love the life I have with Janet. Like most "good things" it was built through some deep valley adventures. We appreciate the encouragement from friends and family because we need it as much as newlyweds do. Whenever there are two or more distinct minds in one space (constantly) there will be some type of friction. The deciding factor is that God gave us hearts that beat for one another. We share the one love that He has presented us with (each other). Can He be wrong? To be honest, it was not easy getting to this season. Just like our date night strolls, one of us may have to wait on the other. You don't always mature at the same time or with the same intensity, but you have to continue to walk towards the same prize in Christ Jesus together. Yeah, "life ain't always been no crystal staircase". There were stairs with tacks and some stairs had no carpet. Some landings had cracked windows where the air blew cold. We been through some stuff and we don't look like what we been through. Every household goes through "something" ... Take His word to heart. "Your latter will be greater" Job 8:7. Janet and I have a passion for marriages, but we would be remiss by not revealing how we got here. We learned to trust in His plan and not our own... I thank God that He thought enough of me to trust me with her heart. March, our sweetie month is over, but I'll be loving and chasing (stalking) her until He calls me home... B lovin me some Janet... Glad The Tomb Is Empty

Quit Boy

I walked past the bedroom the other day and heard you talking on the phone. I obviously wasn't a part of the conversation but the soft sultry tone of your voice made me forget where I was going. I couldn’t wait for you to hang up. So I didn’t. “Quit boy. Girl, you know how Lance is. Well, maybe you don’t. He a mess. QUIT BOY. Girl let me call you back… tomorrow.” Even the dark can't hide your light and the beauty within. I Love you sweetheart! Glad the tomb is empty.

Being a Fixer

Most folk will probably agree that men believe we are fixers. Even my granddaughter will be quick to tell you "G-Da can fix anything." I have learned that most times I first need to listen to Janet recap her day or some random situation she has encountered. I will admit I struggle as I wait for permission to put some testosterone on it. This is where God has shown me how to be less of a fixer and more of a healer. I can’t fix every problem but I can help to heal the wound caused by it. I listen for the pain or frustration in her voice and watch her body language. I need to absorb and dilute that frustration with my strength and peace. Janet needs to feel my empathy and love. She does not need sympathy or a war cry to solve her “problem”. Believe me, this sister can wage her own wars. I married a cute (long legged) cleaver girl that has matured into a dynamically powerful, and incredibly beautiful mature woman. My role is to spread my wings of love and cover her through it all. My words of comfort and my embrace heal her mind and spirit. She is now back on track to be the woman that God has intended her to be. God has given me more power to heal than fix. I love you sweetheart! Glad the tomb is empty!

Celebrate Family

I had plans for February. I wanted to celebrate some brothers in my life. I wanted to continue my quest to show Janet how much I loved and cherished her. I wanted to solidify my friendships and stay on this creative train of reading, writing and emptying this vessel of random but connected thoughts. I committed to these things. Then God. Then God. Then God introduced me to my mortality. He asked me to minister to the families of folks He called home. He then called members of my family, Monica Wilson-Figueroa and Betty Green. I drifted from the weight of their loss. According to His purpose, their purpose on the “third rock” from the sun was completed. It is hard to deal with the physical loss, but as long as there is a story to tell about them, a moment of joy that springs from your gut when you think of them then they will never truly be gone. I want to take a moment to express my undying love for my daughters. God trusted Janet and me with them and we have kinda grown attached to them. Never let a day go by without thanking God for the blessings that He has entrusted you with. Never let a day go by without speaking the words “I love you” to them. You never know when His purpose in them will be fulfilled. So, I just want to publicly tell my daughters and my forever love how much I really love you and am so very proud of you. Glad the tomb is empty.

Be A Woman First!

When we first got married, the struggle was real. We had a new life together. We became new people to each other. We did not understand our newly discovered roles as husband and wife. That mom and dad thing had us rolling on instincts to love and protect the “cubs”. There were bare cupboards and dim lights, sometimes long walks to the bus stop when the “grey ghost” was on blocks. We marched our way through the years determined to meet needs. You made sacrifices for the cause and made choices that changed and sometimes corrected our course. You did these things without provocation from me. You are consistent in your desire to see “Peeler People” succeed. I know there is the house, job, obligations, and all things consistently vying for space in your world. In the midst of all this, I only have one need and desire and that is for you to be a woman first! Do not deny or suppress the grace and beauty personified in ways that make me blush from the inside out. I Love You,

Sweetheart! I could not find a card to speak for me. I hope this works. Happy Valentine’s Day!

“Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot sweep it away. If one were to give all the wealth of one’s house for love, it would be utterly scorned.” Song of Solomon 8:7

Just Being

We caught ourselves alone, just sitting and talking.  Not really about anything specific or world changing.  Just sitting and being.  It is the one thing I love the most about you and me. We can just be. At that moment I felt your heart beating in my chest.  I saw your hopes and dreams from years gone past.  I felt the pain of the things we never discussed.  My heart wanted to move to your chest to let you know I could make those dreams come true and dispel any pain that may try to rise. Your heart held mine close and would not let it leave.  It whispered, “baby we could just be and that is more than enough for me.”  I now catch myself alone just sitting and thinking about how much I love the women whose heart holds mine and won't let go.  She makes it so easy to be… me.  I Love You Sweetheart! Glad The Tomb Is Empty.

Response to my daughters... Though neither are married, I want them both (and any other women) to at least consider if his heart has the potential to hold their heart close against all odds. Their mind and the world may discourage that union. Can they reach out with their heart? I want my young woman to see this in me every day of my life and theirs. It is possible to love a woman beyond the bounds of this world. If you have the courage. If you hold true to this he will find you. Because his heart is looking for the same thing.